Marriage jokes

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"Will the father be present during the birth?"
asked the obstetrician.
"Nah," replied the mother-to-be,
"He and my husband don't get along."

Rating: 2.2 |

A family was having dinner on Mother's Day. For some reason
the mother was unusually quiet. Finally the husband asked
what was wrong.
"Nothing," said the woman.
Not buying it, he asked again. "Seriously, what's wrong?"
"Do you really want to know? Well, I'll tell you. I have cooked
and cleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother's
Day, you don't even tell me so much as "Thank you."
"Why should I?" he said. "Not once in 15 years have I gotten
a Father's Day gift."
"Yes," she said, "but I'm their real mother."

Rating: 3.2 |

On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the
minister. "Would it be right," he asked, "for a person to profit
from the mistakes of another?"
"Absolutely not!" replied the pastor.
"In that case," said the young man, "I wonder if you'd consider
returning the hundred dollars I paid you to marry my wife and me
last July."

Rating: 2.4 |

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing
the same thing to them at funerals.

Rating: 2.6 |

For their 25th wedding anniversary, a man decides to take his
wife on a trip to France. After two weeks touring France, they
return to the airport for the trip back to America. While waiting
for the plane, the wife turns to her husband and says, "This was
the most wonderful gift I could have asked for on our 25th
anniversary. I can't wait to hear what you have in mind for our
50th anniversary!" Her husband leaned over, kissed her on the
cheek, and said, "I'm going to come back and get you"

Rating: 3.0 |

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