Marriage jokes

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We have a young married couple in the neighborhood who are truly
inseparable. Last week, it took four Howard County Policemen and a
dog.

Rating: 4.0 |

But let's get real here guys, I mean who exactly are we kidding ? A
husband controls his wife in much the same manner as a barometer
controls the weather.

Rating: 2.6 |

A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to
his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week.

Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take to
say "Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "I'm sorry" ?

Rating: 3.2 |

You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nites, and so does she.

Rating: 3.0 |

A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert
himself. "You don't have to let your wife bully you," he said. "Go
home and show her you're the boss."

The husband decided to take the doctor's advice. He went
home, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife's face, and
growled, "From now on you're taking orders from me. I want my
supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs
and lay out my clothes. Tonight I am going out with the boys.
You are going to stay at home where you belong. Another
thing, you know who is going to tie my bow tie?"

"I certainly do," said his wife calmly, "the undertaker."

Rating: 3.0 |

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