AlltheJokes.com
The best humor! Marriage jokes and funny stories.

After the third day of a really torrid honeymoon, the young couple finally emerged from their room and walked into the hotel restaurant. After they were seated, the waiter came over to get their orders. The new husband looked at his bride and said, "You know what I really feel like honey ?" "Well sure," she blushed, "But we gotta eat sometime !"

Lee was known among his friends for the punctuality with which he sent
his wife her alimony payment each month. When he was asked the reason
for his haste he shivered and replied: "I'm afraid that if I should
ever fall behind in the payments to that witch, she might well try to
repossess me."

A man happened to meet his ex-wife at a party, and after a few drinks,
he suggested that they might have another try at marriage. His ex-wife
sneered in reply, "Over my dead body !"

He downed his drink and replied, "Well, I see you haven't changed one
little bit."

Following a bitter divorce a husband saw his wife at a party and
sneered, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."

The wife simply sighed and replied, "Yes, dear, I know, but I was in
love and didn't really notice."

Returning from her vacation, the young secretary was telling anyone
who would listen about what a fun time she had. She then asked for two
weeks leave in which to get married.

"But you just had two weeks off," said the boss. "Why didn't you get
married then ?"

"What and ruin my vacation ?" she whined.